Jill Smith and Associates

Counseling, Coaching, and Change

Telehealth for Your Mental Health

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One service that we have always offered at JSA is “telehealth.” Simply put, it’s the phrase we use to describe online therapy. As our country is on the move these days and so connected to our laptops and our phones, telehealth has become a more and more popular option because it’s easy to fit into your day and into your travel schedule.

Telehealth, for us, has been more of a back-up option to in-person therapy. We have used it for couples that live too far away to commute to our office, for clients who have had a broken leg and were unable to drive, and for clients who have moved to the low country or to the upstate but still wanted to continue their therapy with us.

Because of COVID-19 and recommendations from the CDC for helping to slow the spread, most of us are practicing and encouraging “social distancing.” We are actively doing both here at JSA so our team is moving all of our sessions to telehealth. This is temporary and we will resume our normal office family life—of which you are a huge part—as soon as we are given the “all clear” from the CDC.

How does telehealth work?

It’s easy!

You will be given access to a website that lets you into our “portal.” From there, you will click on “appointments” and find a link to click to start your session. You can do this from your laptop or your smartphone… and you can do it anywhere! Ideally, you’ll have a quiet, private place to retreat to for your sessions just like you do when you come to our office in person.

This was an exceptionally tough decision for our team to make—your faces and your voices in our office literally make our day each day. This is a friendly, warm office and we love inviting you in for your appointment. We love welcoming you, opening the door when you forget your code, saying goodbye in unison, sharing a chuckle and a comment with you on the weather or the issue of the day. Not having this in person interaction with each of you is something that we will miss terribly during this time.

However, it was an easy decision to make when we took into account the safety of each of our clients, the safety of our staff, and the safety of the community that we all love so much. We support the CDC, our state government, and our federal government in all ways throughout the duration of COVID-19.

Know this: our important therapy and work together continues. We are not taking a break from our work with you. Therapy continues, as do all of our policies, standards, and goals. We do not take lightly the work of healing, exploring, and growing that happens in this office. You trust us to do our best and to show up ready to work. We trust you to be here with your honest openness.

Onward ever. Backward never.

Unravelling the Mystery of a Good Therapist

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For those with a fascination for the therapy profession and therapy experience as a client…this article is worth reading. I particularly love the encouragement for clinicians to be in a consultation group (which I have been for years) , to survey our effectiveness with clients (we have done this at Jill Smith and Associates, but need to re-up our efforts), and, finally, the call to videotape and review our sessions and show our work to colleagues for feedback to improve. Thank you to all my individuals and couples who have given me written permission to videotape sessions so that I may do just that–review our time together and therefore, hopefully, continue to improve my effectiveness.

See article from Bruce Wampold at Pychotherapy.net here.

If you love me, why do you still-face me?

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Last week I was invited to assist at an EFT training in UNC Greensboro.  This four day introductory training spends an entire day reviewing the literature on attachment bonds and the role they play in the way we understand ourselves, our world and our life partners.
As a child, If we are securely attached to our parents or a loved one, we can consider ourselves lucky. A healthy attachment sets a stage for us to explore our world, knowing safety and predictability waits for us at home. We begin to believe in our ability to interact with others and function successfully in relationships. If we have a need, we can express it and we will be heard and understood. We can hear and understand others successfully–even when things get complicated emotionally.
But when we are raised by parents or caregivers who do not come when we call, things can be different.  Then, many times, don’t feel securely attached to a primary person. We might not explore  our world because we aren’t sure if safety and predictability awaits at home. So..as an adult, our attachment style might be fearful. Or avoidant.  We are not sure if we will be understood by the world, so we keep emotions hidden away, burying them deep inside, even denying them.  Sometimes our emotions then explode after being hidden for so long. Typically, we don’t ever understanding what is behind this pattern that leads to loneliness or difficult, conflict laden relationships
At EFT trainings, clinicians are shown a classic psychological experiment video called The Still Face Experiment.
Although hard to watch, The Still Face Experiment demonstrates with crystal clarity what is outlined above. When Mom responds predictably and loving the baby is delighted, calm and engaged.   But when Mom ignores the baby with “still face,”   the baby reaches, screeches, squirms. The world is no longer responsive safe and predictable. Maybe crying and protesting will make it so.
We do the same in our adult love relationships. We reach, we screech and we squirm when we aren’t sure if we are understood by our partners. We want them to respond to our needs and when they don’t, it is unbearable.  We protest. We criticize. We cry. We yell. We sulk. We turn away.
Emotionally Focused Therapy, the couples therapy protocol used in our office, makes sense of this attachment stuff so you and your partner can feel securely attached. Again.